🇦🇺 Dads in the Grind: Serving the Nation, Showing Up at Home - One Sailor’s Story.
Balancing Deployment and Fatherhood in the Royal Australian Navy
When you're in uniform, you're trained to serve. To sacrifice. To carry the mission.
But for dads in the military, there’s another mission running alongside: fatherhood.
We sat down with a Royal Australian Navy serviceman, an active-duty sailor and father of two, to explore the quiet weight of parenting while serving your country — and what being present looks like when you’re oceans apart.
⏰ 1. “What does a typical day look like for you while on active duty?”
“Right now, I’m posted ashore with modified hours — 0600 to 1430 — so I can be there for my boys’ sports. That shift means I’m not leaving it all to my wife.”
This sort of family-first arrangement is becoming more common as the ADF continues to evolve its family policies. According to the Department of Defence’s Family Survey, flexible postings and roster arrangements are increasingly vital to retention, especially among service members with young children.
💡 2. “How did becoming a dad shift your mindset?”
“It made me realise what truly matters. My boys and my wife are my top priority now — everything else comes second.”
💔 3. “What’s the hardest part about being away from your kids?”
“Missing their day-to-day life. Especially when they’re little, those irreplaceable moments… that’s the sacrifice.”
This emotional cost is echoed in global studies. A 2022 UK Ministry of Defence report found that 71% of deployed parents felt ‘deep guilt’ over missing childhood milestones. And yet, many carry that silently.
📱 4. “How do you stay emotionally connected while away?”
“Thankfully, most ships have Wi-Fi now. Being able to talk almost daily really helps. Just hearing about their day keeps me grounded.”
Even with tech, communication isn’t always guaranteed. That’s why pre-deployment honesty is key.
🛠️ 5. “Any routines or ‘hacks’ that help?”
“Just daily chats when I can. But also, I’m upfront with the boys that there’ll be days I can’t contact them — and that’s helped a lot.”
🎖️ 6. “What’s one thing you’ve sacrificed — and one thing you’ve learned?”
“I missed my first son’s birth while deployed in the Middle East. Didn’t meet him until he was three weeks old. That showed me how strong my wife is — and what real partnership looks like.”
⚖️ 7. “Have you ever felt the weight of it all?”
“Absolutely. On tough days, I’d think, ‘Why am I doing this?’ But then I remember — it’s for them. That purpose gets me through.”
🧭 8. “What helped you stay steady?”
“Two things: knowing my wife had a solid support network at home, and reminding myself the hard times don’t last forever.”
This aligns with Beyond Blue’s military mental health research, which shows strong family systems and peer support can significantly buffer stress for deployed fathers.
🧩 9. “Does the Navy offer enough support for dads?”
“It’s improving, but still mum-focused in many ways. Modern families need modern support. More dad-specific tools would go a long way.”
👨👧 10. “What values do you want your kids to learn from your service?”
“Commitment. Resilience. Hard work. I want them to see that putting in the effort matters — for something bigger than just you.”
📸 11. “What’s a moment that reminded you why it’s all worth it?”
“When I bring the boys to base, or on ship tours — seeing their pride and excitement. It’s unreal. That’s what keeps me going.”
🧠 12. “What advice would you give a new dad deploying for the first time?”
“Set up a support network for your family — before you leave. Be honest with your kids about what to expect. And don’t be afraid to ask for help. That’s not weakness, that’s leadership.”
🎯 Why Military Dads Matter and Need Support
13% of ADF personnel are dads with dependent children.
Military fathers are less likely than mothers to seek emotional or mental health support.
Emotional presence (even when physically away) strengthens resilience in children long-term (Harvard Center on the Developing Child).
At Project Dad, we know dads in service are fighting two battles — for country, and for connection.
You’re not alone.
📌 Explore More:
Defence Member and Family Helpline